Nightmare on Liverpool Street

A half-witted bunch of PR turnips are recovering tonight after a terrifying ordeal at the hands of a rival gang of office mutants.

Expensive drinks

Given confidence by ‘expensive drinks’ and ‘finger food’, the mutants, fresh from a wasteful and useless ‘exercise’ baited the turnips as they came through the gates at the famed eastend station.

Nibbles

Some turnips splintered and ran for a nearby buffet bar while others, emboldened by sanctimonious drivel and smug hype, decided to take the fight to the mutants and taunted them with a barrage of ringtones and hold music.

Who is who?

The mutenips ran for cover, only to find gaggles of corphags waiting at the entrance, some with corporate ladders in their tights. The corphags joined the fight and station guards were called to break up the ruckus. Two of the turnips where seen trapped in the gates to the tube, bleating like sheep that their ‘oysters’ didn’t work.

Order was restored by laying on cheap wine and plastic food at an overlit, garish and downright hideous coffee emporium nearby.