Centaur Park gets ready for the summer season – from our man on the ground Filligree Poncencock
London's most celebrated centaur meeting place, 'Centaur Park' was officially opened for the summer yesterday in a ceremony attended by the City's top Centaurs.
With arses sticking out like shelves, some a full 12 inches deep, the head Centaurs made a series of dull, unfunny speeches, punctuated by insipid corporate babble that left the crowd braying for more.
Like a bunch of strutting cocks, the majority of the centaurs looked on, tucking into 'deli' sandwiches, 'food to go' and pre-packaged gack in an effort to increase shelf size. Those who weren't hungry just slurped on Macchicapuspressolatte Grandes, kindly supplied by the nearby 'On the Hoof' coffee shop.
Useless pieces of plastic, printed with company names were lapped up freely by the slavering centaurs who enjoyed a full 1 hour off work for the celebrations before trotting gamely back to their 'phones' and 'workstations'.
Centaur park is open daily and is also known as Finsbury Square Nr Moorgate.